Moving On, Moving Along

Most of us have had experienced a relationship break up in one way or another, some better than others. The feeling of having your heart think and everything you thought you knew about your relationship to vanish and disappear into thin air. And the pain of knowing that all what once was is no more. Those who haven't experienced it, should not worry about it, since it will only work out for the best even though it may feel quite the opposite. Breakups should be seen more of a blessing in disguise, since they show us how bad some relationships can be and to learn from such an experience.

Yet what I don't understand is why, in our culture we must make other people feel pain over out of our expense. It also raises the question why some relationships start when, astrology speaking, they would never, ever work out. Sadly though most of those fall apart leaving one person who was in the relationship emotionally scarred. 

Our culture seems to influence everyone is the 'choice' of finding the 'right' life partner. The choice itself is the problem, since for us to find someone who clicks with us we need to get to them really well. However the term 'right' is incorrect, since there can never be a singular person to fit that assumption. It would be better off to look at it as there are multiple 'right' partners, and there are even more almost right people out there. Just then the problem is distinguishing the person you have almost everything in common with from another person you have very little in common. That is where i wish there was a better system in this world to meet people... anyways this is off topic.

Moving on from a harsh break up/divorce or any other similar situation it is hard. It would be quick it takes time, but time can only heal the wounds when enough time has passed. The toughest part of moving on is, when you have those day and you remember and recall memories of the past you wish you could forget for several years. Another thing which would be really important to have would be someone, even a counsellor, to talk to about what you went through. I am on the fence though of going to one since of my past and having overcoming depression only 4 years ago. I know I am strong enough to keep my head about the water, but i am worried that this failed relationship is slowly dragging me down.

Moving along with life, is just as hard as moving on. Since all those things you use to do and all the time you would put aside for your previous relationship now is free again. Trying to keep yourself busy is easy or hard depending on the person, and the busier you are the better off you'll be. 

All I would like to do is start another relationship, but meeting the right person is the hardest part....

Part II - Trivial Love

I realized this morning that i forgot a few other things attributed to relationships. One being cheating and the other the issue about when to have kids. As they are not inherently connected to love and moreover link to lust, these thou separate should still be consider as part of the whole larger topic.

So consider yourself the type who cheats on others... what would that be like and how would that feel?
The way it seems to play out again and again regardless whether the guy or girl does it is because there is some flaw in the relationship (that the person who is going to cheat) does not understand or does not know how to resolve. The other case is, the relationship began out of lust and was purely out of desperation. In the second case it is more likely to end in with cheating when the other person grows tired of their lover. I for one have only been cheated on so i do not understand why people do it in the first place, so all of this is speculation. My guess is the person would feel good at first but eventually their feelings will return for the person they cheated on and well, it could ultimately end with them ending their current relationship because they are unsure of their feelings.

Now consider yourself the person who gets cheated on... how would that feel like?
Imagine everything is fine and then in one day your world is turn upside down and the person you once love now doesn't want to be with you anymore. It is a heart wrenching experience and extremely painful to go through for anyone. You are left questioning yourself; why did this happen? why did it end? why did i deserve this? Depending how many people cared about your relationship and heard about it ending some of them will stem in and help you get back onto your feet. As for the person who ended it, they are probably still feeling invincible and invulnerable, thinking they are right about everything they did. Don't dwell on the past, especially if you are trying to get on with your life. Just remember to give yourself time to heal and time to recover from this. Being cheated on is one of those things that is sometimes inevitable but good things can come out of it.
Moving on, from a harsh event will only make you stronger. Also learn from such an experience and in my opinion be a bit more picky your start a relationship with.

As for kids depending where you are in the world and the culture, it might be normal to have kids when you are young. But in most of parts of the world it is trending to having kids later and closer to when the couple is in their early to mid 30s. Some cultures require marriage too before having kids. And of course the cost of raising them and giving them a life requires a lot of time and money.

For those wondering about me, I am still in recovering from having my heart ripped out from my last relationship. I feel emotionally scarred from the experience because of how sudden and rude it ended, but hope to eventually meet the right girl. But that is easier said than done when there is 7 billion people in this world.

Trivial Love

I said was gonna write a post with this heading and here it is, same day 'cause i just want to vent about the topic. I hope you like long winded because I plan on giving myself an hour to write this before i call it a night.

Love, as most, well everyone sees it as a 'connection' between two people. But is there really such a thing? Yes Culturally and No biologically. Love (the word) can be seen as a cultural creation to express the feeling we have towards someone we want to mate with. Each cultural and/or religion has adapted it to fit their beliefs and for this reason the line has became extremely blurred. Biologically speaking, we are all hard wired to get down and dirty.

So now the question is... has love done anything good for our society? For that you would have to define good. Love is like the son or daughter of lust and jealousy. You cannot have one without the others, since it is inherent that everyone is jealous in one way or another. Like when you see a hotter nicer looking guy or girl in the mall and you question yourself about your current relationship (not saying that everyone or anyone does that). Lust on the other hand is our hormones going on overdrive and pushing us to find someone to mate with.
Just the thing is, our society has put social barriers to control people in their pursuit of lust, mostly to stop people from assaulting people and  ruining other people's lives. Which is very good to have, yet... then how come we still hear about these things in the news? Its sad to see or hear about people getting raped and then those who commit such an idiotic crime to go to jail. Would sterilization of those who apparently can't respect the rights of others be too far? Probably to most people and Amnesty since it goes against human rights.
Anyways....

Moving on to relationships...
More and more these days people are meeting online plus the fact people are living longer... should this not then mean more happy relationships? Apparently quite the opposite. People are breaking up here and there and frickin' everywhere! Seriously. It does not matter if you are in the western world or developing nations or those just starting to development (maybe not as much). People get together and break up... get together and break up. You get the idea. What has happened to Commitment?  Its like in our digital world commitment has disappeared and has almost become non-existent.  People get together hoping they've met the one only to end up with their heart on floor and their lover taking an axe to it. There are some people however who do meet when they are young and marry for live, which i would definitely call them really lucky. And then there are others who go from relationship to relationship, confused, unsure, and testing the water per say.
We could even drag astrology in here for how it defines everyone and the sign compatibility. I've gotta say it is pretty damn close. Some signs should avoid each other while others who are suppose to be should definitely get together. Surprisingly there are a lot of miss-matched marriages in our world where signs that should never be together, get together and have kids. Now explain to me this, how does a miss-matched judge a good boyfriend or girlfriend when they them self are incompatible? Sadly it is simple... screw over their kids lives.

 Pause for a second... think about the priorities when you are in a relationship. What should come first? First should always be love no doubt about it. IF if anything else supersedes it, then ask yourself, is the relationship i am in now really the one i want to be in 15 years from now? Really does anyone want to be in a relationship when MONEY is the number one priority. Yeah sure it is important, but if it is more important than love, then your relationship is a lie 'cause there is NO love.

Also how come with relationship these days very very few people know who to end it correctly. It seems to be when the shit hits the fan IT HITS THE FAN! The worst ways of breaking a relationship begins by stonewalling your lover and refusing to speak to them. Followed by a text or IM or social media message destroying what love was left. The stupidity of going this route is that you have bombed and emotionally scarred your former lover and the chance of there being friendship at the end of this is zero. All because they will probably feel so hurt they will have to go to their friends and possibly yours for help or advice. Seriously our culture needs to work on how to end things a lot more respectfully.

But if you have made it this far and are planning to get married well, there still a bit more to go. Marriage these days, in some countries is going down all because people don't see it necessary. They would rather be common law instead. The interesting thing is there are so many different types of ceremonies out there for each religion and of course for those people who would rather have their own unique ceremony. So why would someone pass up the opportunity of having a good time with the person they love and make it official? I'll let you think about that...

The few things in this world I wish could change are... the Divorce rate cause it is way too high. I would like to see if we could come up with a free more refined way for people to meet. Also there should be better support networks in for people in relationships regardless if they are long distance or same town. There should be more education about relationships and how to handle getting out of them if need be. And finally people should respect everyone else regardless where they are in the world more.

We gotta Let Love In and throw Hate into the Bin.