Slow Start

After calling California several times I am slowly getting everything completed to be accepted into the US as an international exchange student into the collision and refinishing with street rod and custom fabrication specialty program. Still lots of virtual and real paper work to do. I don't I have to worry that much since I am applying to be accepted in September, so I have got plenty of time.

On top of that my job hunt which I have been checking very frequently has come up with some possible but nothing firm that I know if I apply I will get hired. It cannot be said that there is not jobs out there, since there are lots, but majority of them require a higher education or experience to get hired which most students (like me) lack.

Lately, for me... it seems whenever you feel like everything is well something comes up and hits you, knocking you off balance. I am trying to progress and move on from the past but it seems every few days I have the occasional recollection of something that happened in the past, that taunts me. But they seem to slowly fading away, which is great, making it easier to focus what is happening in the here and now instead of what happened there and then. Time truly does heal all wounds but you've gotta to be willing to accept it, not to dwell and look forward to a brighter more hopeful future.

Another quality I seem to be unfortunately blessed with is that I have a tendency to see something to want it right now. I question it many, many times considering lots of factors and all to help me gain leverage so I could get it and all. Oh one thing I should mention these things that I am wanting aren't cheap.... they're fairly expensive, usually several hundred to several thousand of dollars. Yet just as I am able to talk myself into wanting it I can talk myself out of it and considering the fact that it is a lot better off the wait. I know that eventually I am going to be able to own pretty well whatever I desire, so by accepting that it isn't as much of an issue to wait. It may seem random and all, but it is most likely part of my spendthrift ways.

I do not know how to describe it exactly, when you feel like that the weight of the world and all the negative aspect (like conflict and pain) is on one side pushing you down while on the other you have hope, peace, acceptance and love pulling  you up. It is almost like trying to achieve balance on a set of scales that keep on having the weights and pressures changing constantly on each side. But that I guess is life and all, never being stable and something you have to accept in order to progress instead of stagnating.

I just have to keep in mind that Nothing is Impossible or as American Express says it "Impossible is two letters too long" and to Never Give Up.